May 21, 2012

A Prayer for Stopping

-Trisha Arlin

 

 

On the way to shul, Shabbat morning

 

I run into Max, also on his way there and I walk with him.

 

We get to the corner, the light is red but there are no cars to be seen, I start to cross, Max doesn’t.

 

I walk back to him, puzzled.

 

The light turns green, he crosses.

 

You don’t jaywalk?  He smiles.

 

Not on Shabbat?   That’s it, says Max.

  

Every day we rush rush rush.  But on Shabbat, when the light tells me to slow down or stop, I slow down or stop.

 

I get it, how fantastic. Like saying a brucha, I love it.

 

And I try it on the way home that afternoon.

 

 

How fun, a new minhag.

 

I get to  a corner,

 

Two blocks from home, there’s no traffic in any direction.

 

The Walk sign is a little white walking man.

 

The Don’t Walk sign is a palm print, a red hamsa.

 

Stop, says the hamsa. It’s Shabbat.

 

Meditate on the moment, you are stopped, no future no past, rest here on the corner of 14th Street and Eighth Avenue, rest, rest…   I stop.

 

Dum dee dum dee dum….

 

 

It’s driving me insane.

 

There’s no traffic! What am I waiting for? This is soooo not me,  I'm supposed to move forward whenever I can,  not stop when I can go.  And I can go. Go!

 

No, stop.  Only a few more seconds I’m sure.

 

Friggin’ hamsa, I hate that hamsa, where’s the little white walking man. I want the walking man!

 

People are moving past me, they must think I’m hurt or crazy, just standing on the corner, no traffic, stopped. Damn you, Max!

 

But I’m stopped!

 

I’m stopped. So I look around. I see the leaves on the sidewalk. I hear the sounds of Saturday afternoon.

 

Some kids are shouting at each other.

   

Across the street a couple walks together, bumping each other as they move, friendly loving bumps.

 

I’m breathing.

 

A dog barks. I like dogs.

 

I’m resting.

 

Leaves on the sidewalk.  Huh, nice kind of rust colored one, lays next to a maroon one, looks good. Reminds me of the curtain on the Torah Ark.

 

Breathing.

 

Not going forward. Not going backward.  

 

Shabbat.  Full stop.

 

The light turns green.   The little white walking man appears, time to go.  Too soon!  I like it here.  I go.

 

Blessed Ancestors and God of My Ancestors, thank you for inventing Shabbat.  

 

Amen.