KOL NIDRE

by Alicia Ostriker

As to the deep ineradicable flaws

in the workmanship

anger and envy

anger and envy

stemming from over-enthusiasm

that rises like a water lily from mud

and the stone

of self, of ego

that insists on its imperial monolog

that strangles its audience

I would like to repent but I cannot

I am ridden like a horse

*

What does the contriver have in mind

the contrivance wants to know

because otherwise what is the point

of all this moaning

pretending to be sorry for everything

groveling like a chained-up snake

crawling over a stone book

in the rain of words

for which someone is responsible

at times the food devours the eater

the pot wishes to speak to the potter

the clay chooses the hands

*

We are not competent to make our vows

we are truly sorry

we pull you down from a cloud

or bend our knees to you like dancing dogs

death breathing invisibly next to us in the subway

in the office in the kitchen on the park bench

we promise to love only you

faithful, faithful, we promise

we lie, we are not competent

still we implore you

please look at us and take us in your arms

not like a master like a mother

To my granddaughter on her bat mitzvah

A girl stands in a doorway

what a bright morning

what fresh air

everything underground is pushing up

The girl walks down the street with her nose in a book

what a bright morning

she knows she herself is the book

she is learning to read

The letters are magic

the letters are holy

the letters are fire and water

what a bright morning

                            O if we could speak

                            what a bright morning 

                            O if our accumulated wisdom

                            were a magic ring she could rub or wings to fly

The girl would still smile to herself

the girl would smile to herself and walk forward

her secrets are holy

what a bright morning this is

Alicia Ostriker has published eleven volumes of poetry, including the volcano sequence and No Heaven. Her work appears in numerous Jewish journals and anthologies.  She is also the author of The Nakedness of the Fathers (midrash and autobiography) and For the Love of God: the Bible as an Open Book (essays).  Website: http://www.rci.rutgers.edu/~ostriker/home.htm  (or google her).