Writing is My Prayer

- Dr. Mel Waldman

April 23, 2011

Writing is my prayer to Hashem, my G-d.  In

my first draft, it is a silent prayer as

my left hand sweeps softly

across the pristine

page of a

blank

book

creating, re-creating, and discovering

holy scripts originally hidden

in the deep caves of my

unconscious mind  

but revealed

today as

the holy

words

float to consciousness.

Writing is my

prayer. 

My writing is guided by my dreams

and dreamlike states.  At night,

I let go of my ego and

pass through

altered

states

of

consciousness.  Preternaturally,

I meander through dark

labyrinths and

discover

sweet phantasmagoria and

the secrets of the

universe.

At dawn, perhaps, or later

in the day, especially

after sunset, I

write,

driven and inspired by my

dark beautiful

journeys.

Writing is my prayer to Hashem, my G-d.  In

my second draft, it is a loud prayer as I

pound the holy words on my

keyboard, transferring

my creation to a

file on my

computer.

In this miraculous creative process,

I transform and transcend,

and ultimately,  I

am transformed.

Writing is my prayer to Hashem

(The Name), my G-d. 

When I need

to speak

privately with Him, I dream

and write.  Then I wait.

I pray inside the

Void.

Soon, I feel His presence.

I’m not alone.  I

speak to Him.

He listens. 

Hashem commands me

to write again

and again.

Dr. Mel Waldman, a psychologist, is also a poet and writer whose stories and poems have appeared in dozens of magazines including HARDBOILED DETECTIVE, ESPIONAGE, THE SAINT, POETICA, and AUDIENCE. He is a past winner of the literary GRADIVA AWARD in Psychoanalysis and was nominated for a PUSHCART PRIZE in literature.  He is the author of 11 books including I AM A JEW, a collection of essays, memoir, short stories, poems, and plays about his exploration of his Jewish identity published by World Audience.  Recently, he became the Director of the Williamsburg Clinic of the Interborough Developmental and Consultation Center, one of four Brooklyn mental health clinics of IDCC, as well as a school based program, serving a diverse client population that includes the Orthodox and Modern Orthodox Jewish community.